D.Ward - Recovered Data

From: Darnell Ward To: Elaine Ward Subject: I messed up 2945.08.27 05:13SET >> UNSENT DRAFT So… I don’t know why this is so tough... Dr. Colby said that I shouldn’t get too down on myself if I stumbled in my treatment, but I can’t bring myself to believe him. I know I could probably just sleep it off, wake up tomorrow and commit myself to starting fresh, but I don’t know… something just feels wrong about that. Wrong not telling you. Then it feels like it’d be sweeping it under the rug. Like it never happened. I think about all the things I put you, put the kids through, and I just don’t know why I can’t figure this out. I guess you know where this is going. There was a birthday party tonight and somebody had been saving a bottle of Esquire. It was easy to say yes. I almost didn’t even think about it. What that word would mean. I guess… I think I went back ten years ago, like when we were at school. When having a few drinks didn’t lead to waking up in a medstation or with blood on my clothes. But in that moment, I was the me back then. Just a guy celebrating a birthday with some coworkers… But I’m not that guy. And it kills me. I don’t know who I am anymore. It’s late now. I’m drunk. Drunk and ashamed that I keep letting you down. I guess all I want is